Therapy Strategies for Supporting Regulation
Children may communicate discomfort, confusion, or overwhelm in many different ways. These practical strategies from Dr. Judy can help families, educators, and therapists slow down, observe what the child may need, and provide support without adding unnecessary pressure.
Practical Support Begins With Observation
A child’s response can provide important information about what they are experiencing. Before adding instructions or attempting to change a behavior, pause and consider whether the child needs more processing time, less sensory input, help communicating, or time to recover.
Breathing
Practice slow belly breathing and playful breathing activities during comfortable moments.
Pause
Give a short direction, wait quietly, and allow additional time for processing.
Understand
Consider what screaming may communicate before deciding how to respond.
Reduce
During a meltdown, reduce stimulation, language, and demands while supporting safety.
Breathing
Breathing activities can help a child notice how their body feels and practice a familiar strategy during calm or mildly stressful moments. Dr. Judy recommends beginning with belly breathing, in which the abdomen gently rises and falls with each breath.
Introduce the activity when the child is comfortable. It may be difficult to learn a new breathing technique once a child is already overwhelmed.
Try the Stuffed-Animal Activity
Have the child lie comfortably with a small stuffed animal resting on their belly. Invite them to watch the animal gently rise as they breathe in and lower as they breathe out.
The goal is to notice the movement—not to take the largest breath possible or follow a strict breathing pattern.
1. Find a comfortable position
The child can sit in a supportive chair or lie down comfortably.
2. Place a hand on the belly
Rest one hand gently below the ribs so the movement of the belly can be felt.
3. Breathe in slowly
Invite the child to take a comfortable breath and notice the belly gently rise.
4. Breathe out slowly
Let the breath leave naturally and notice the belly lower again.
5. Repeat comfortably
Try a few breaths without requiring a particular speed or number of repetitions.
Other Ways to Practice Breathing
Blowing bubbles
Moving a pinwheel
Blowing up a balloon
Supervise breathing activities and use age-appropriate materials. Stop if the child becomes dizzy, uncomfortable, frustrated, or does not want to continue. Balloons and other small materials require especially close supervision.
The 6-Second Rule
Some children need additional time to hear spoken language, understand what was said, organize a response, or shift their attention. Dr. Judy’s 6-Second Rule is a reminder to pause instead of immediately adding more words.
Six seconds can be a useful starting point, but it is not a strict requirement. Some children may respond sooner, while others may need ten seconds or longer.
1. Give one short direction
Use clear, familiar wording and avoid including several instructions in the same sentence.
2. Pause quietly
Wait for approximately six seconds without repeating, rephrasing, or adding more questions.
3. Repeat the same words
If another opportunity is needed, repeat the original direction using the same calm wording.
4. Add a visual the helpful
Point to the object, demonstrate the action, or use a picture or familiar visual schedule.
For Example, Instead of:
“Come on, we need to leave. Can you get your shoes? Where are your shoes? We’re going to be late.”
Try:
“Shoes on.” Pause and allow time to process. “Shoes on.”
Changing the wording or adding more information may restart the processing demand. Use the same words and adjust the amount of wait time based on the individual child.
Understanding Screaming
Screaming may be a child’s way of communicating discomfort, frustration, fear, confusion, excitement, sensory overload, or an unmet need. The sound alone does not tell us the reason.
Before responding, slow the interaction down and consider what happened immediately before the scream and what the child may be trying to communicate.
What Might The Child Need
Hunger or Thirst
A bathroom need
Pain, illnesss, physical discomfort
Fatigue
Excessive noise
Uncomfortable lighting
Uncomfortable temperature
How Can We Respond?
Have one calm adult speak when possible.
Reduce questions, explanations, and repeated directions.
Lower surrounding noise and other sensory input.
Keep familiar communication tools accessible.
Offer simple choices when the child can use them.
Allow time for the child to respond.
Address pain, safety, and basic physical needs immediately.
The goal is not to automatically provide or deny something simply because screaming occurred. First determine whether there is a safety concern, physical need, communication difficulty, or source of distress. When the child is regulated, adults can help develop a more reliable way to communicate “help,” “stop,” “break,” “no,” or another request.
Treat the scream as information.
Responding calmly and looking for the need can help adults understand what support or communication option may be missing.
Meltdown Mode
A meltdown occurs when a child becomes overwhelmed and can no longer manage the demands, sensations, or emotions of the moment. It is not deliberate misbehavior.
During a meltdown, the child may have less access to spoken language, problem-solving, and strategies they can use at other times. The immediate priorities are safety, reduced stimulation, accessible communication, and time to recover.
Reduce What Is Happening
A child may temporarily be unable to use spoken language reliably. Keep familiar ways of communicating nearby without requiring the child to use them.
Keep Support Available
A child may temporarily be unable to use spoken language reliably. Keep familiar ways of communicating nearby without requiring the child to use them.
Allow Time to Recover
Recovery does not necessarily end when the screaming or visible distress stops. The child may remain tired, sensitive, quiet, or less communicative.Allow time before returning to difficult activities or discussing what happened. Once everyone is calm, adults can consider possible triggers, early signs, and supports that may help in the future.
If the child or another person is in immediate danger, follow the child’s established safety plan and seek appropriate professional or emergency assistance when necessary.
Support the Child in Front of You
Breathing activities should be practiced without pressure. Spoken directions should be followed by enough processing time. Screaming should encourage adults to look for a possible need or message. During a meltdown, reducing stimulation and allowing recovery are more helpful than adding language or demands.
Each strategy should be adjusted according to the individual child’s communication, comfort, and response.
Practice
Pause
Observe
Reduce
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